I watched Cherry Healey’s: How to Get a Life: Are we all addicts? recently about natural highs.
Like exercise or sex. And pills & things to smoke. Or rub on. Or just think about.
And it got me thinking.
As women, what do we really have that will help boost our libidos in those times when it is flagging & needing a bit of a gentle helping hand?
Well apparently A LOT!
Most some sound like a crock of shit.
Like peanut butter. “Rich in monounsaturated fats this spread can heighten female sexual arousal.”
Um…nope. Think half eaten soggy toddler chewed white bread PB sandwiches. Not turning me on.
Unless you’re planning on spreading it on areas that would otherwise not be used as a dining plate. Use smooth not crunchy peoples, that’s all I’ll say.
Watermelon. “The compounds present in watermelon may have a “Viagra-like” effect, relaxing blood vessels and increasing blood flow. Proper blood flow allows the tissues to become engorged, aroused and lubricated.”
I don’t know about the rest of you but when I eat watermelon I do so over the sink whilst great globules of watermelon & juice run down my chin, spitting the seeds into the sink as I go.
Somehow I think if I suggested a bit of horizontal dancing at that precise moment, requesting I be thrown over our kitchen block in a fit of passion….well I would probably be told that I’m a ‘little sticky’ & would I mind cleaning myself up…
Garlic. No explanation required.
Bananas. Asparagus. Celery.
Nope. Nope. Nope.
Then we get onto the over the counter herbal remedies.
Horny Goat Weed.
Says it all really.
Then there’s a variety of pills that have things like: Niacin, Hops Extract, Tribulus Terrestris, Mucuna Pruriens, Ginkgo Biloba. As to the actual efficiency of any of them I’m not so sure.
Then there are products like this:
Which, if you read the blurb, will apparently help with: “….women having a dark and gloomy face with plaques and acnes, and always encountering the problems such as urine leakage ans flatus vaginalis during sexual intercourse; and the old, middle-aged and young women pursuing perfect and modern erotic love and having higher requirements.
WHAT.IN.ALL.SERIOUS.FUCK does that mean????
Ones to steer clear of methinks.
Then there’s little blue pills:
And little pink pills: And even freaking gold pills:
And the common theme I can find with all of them is COST!!!
Apparently if you aren’t getting your rocks off then you must have a wad load (pardon the pun) of cash to splash around in the hope that your flagging libido may get out from under the doona long enough to satisfy the itch that needs a scratch.
Someone tweeted me the other day that the best libido booster for women is hearing: “No darling, you sit down, I’ll do that!”
And I have to agree.
What’s get’s you in the mood for lovin’?